We're facebook friends in real life
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
