If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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