i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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