Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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