i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
