just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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