adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize