She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize