I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
