Nicole vs. Life
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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