How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
