Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
