Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
