Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
