is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
