his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize