Are we in a gay sports bar?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
