Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize