There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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