My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
