My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
