I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
