just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
