So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's like heaven, but drunker
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
