we have pet lesbian snakes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
