This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
