Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
