It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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