Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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