She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize