Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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