so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
