it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you had me at cake vodka
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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