So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so explain again why im purple
no
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize