Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
