I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
