Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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