You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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