Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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