For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
