I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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