Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
