New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
