i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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