its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
should my penis look like a turkey
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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