Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
