Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
