btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He shit in the fireplace
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize