when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
