Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
