I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's get the cat blown out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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