hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you would pick up someone in the library
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
