Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize