those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
