I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
