i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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