So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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