I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
