I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
