her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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