Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
as a side note pls kill me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
