watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
